Growing Good Men

As a mom of two boys, a psychologist & coach that has devoted my life to helping men live more loving, connected and peaceful lives, I am always looking for ways in which I can support my clients & my boys become more confident, whole-hearted men who are secure in their relationships, with themselves and with their emotions. How do I most effectively help my clients re-emerge so they can experience feeling fully alive again? How best do I keep my boys’ hearts open? How do I teach them that there is actually MORE pain in shutting down when life throws its unavoidable arrows?

Growing good men requires us (and me) to nurture and grow my own heart. It requires me to model how to be in a relationship with a woman who cares deeply, is committed to growth, and who takes responsibility for her life and her missteps. It requires me to be fully present – tuned into the men who share their hearts and fears. Allowing the safe space for vulnerability is perhaps the best gift we can give one another. The pain of my own challenging relationships has taught me this.

Often we don’t even know how locked away our hearts have been until we begin to open the door again.

As a child who was taught that shutting down and being small was the only way to survive a man’s unpredictable anger, it has been my own work to step up, share my heart and my gift for helping others. Shedding my own limiting beliefs and emotions which no longer serve me has been liberating and I’m grateful for how each life experience, even the hardest ones that left me bewildered and closed, shaped who I am.

The coolest thing about this is that this work will never be complete. There is infinite potential for the amount of love and light we can experience and then share with our families, partners, children, friends and those we share our lives with. So, relax, breathe, and resist the impulse to wall off. Let the walls crumble, give the analytical mind a rest, and emerge as the power of you.

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