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In my work, the first step happens way before I ever meet with someone. It happens in the private moments when the feeling of pain is overwhelming and intolerable.

As a mom of two boys, a psychologist & coach that has devoted my life to helping men live more loving, connected and peaceful lives, I am always looking for ways in which I can support my clients & my boys become more confident, whole-hearted men who are secure in their relationships, with themselves and with their emotions. How do I most effectively help my clients re-emerge so they can experience feeling fully alive again? How best do I keep my boys’ hearts open? How do I teach them that there is actually MORE pain in shutting down when life throws its unavoidable arrows?

You know that feeling, just you and your dog, on a walk, or a hike, or in the car? Your dog looks lovingly at you – so pleased that you have invited them on this adventure and even provided water and treats. You get to where you’re going, you walk together with ease, just happy to be side by side, excited for whatever is ahead on the path, and appreciating your surroundings. Even when you stop to grab a cup of coffee, your dog patiently awaits your return, and when you do, the excitement is palpable that you have faithfully returned to continue your journey with them.

Being lost in the cloud of an ailing relationship can be overwhelming. What I hear from the conversations I’m having with men every day is:

But then you find that small tool, that one that’s in your pocket, shoved in with all the other random stuff that you wrote off as useless, that one thing that if used at just the right time, can save your life….and the life of your family.

I’ve spent time over the last two weeks with local fire departments. I’ve listened to their stories – the compelling and tragic stories about what they call the “dark underbelly” of our community.